Guru talks Cowboys, kickers and playoffs leading into Week 16

By  Trey Crosby III

Here we go again. (9-7) for The Guru last week.

I’m not doing anything remarkable with my picks, but I am holding my head above water and well, that would be good enough to win the NFC North…and the East…combined.

I hate talking about the Cowboys. Mainly because they just aren’t that good of a football team, yet they get tons of press whether they win or lose. I must face it however, it’s no mystery that the Cowboys really are America’s team.

You either hate ‘em or you love ‘em, or perhaps you just love to hate ‘em. Either way, they get people talking.

I fall into that “Love to HATE ‘em category” and boy did I have a great time watching their demise last week. Didn’t we know that was coming? This time I actually didn’t know it was coming.

How could Tony Romo throw not one but TWO late interceptions to help the ‘Boys lose to the “Rodgerless” Packers at home. Are you serious right now? And YES!! I am blaming Romo for the loss.

I understand the Cowboys defense is non existent, but if you make $100 million you’re going to have to bring more to the table than costly interceptions late in ball games.

The loss was so disappointing that Dez Bryant had to walk off the field before the game was over in order to stop from crying. No comment on that one.

Then after the game you have head coach Jason Garrett scrambling to protect his backside in the press conference by calling out Romo for changing the play at the line of scrimmage from a run to a pass. Total FACEPALM.

The football Gods are clearly ready to see some Aaron Rodgers postseason action…CLEARLY.

In other news, Ray Lewis couldn’t hide his affection towards his old team the Baltimore Ravens on ESPN Monday night.

For a moment I thought he was going to punch Trent Dilfer in the face while Dilfer ranted about how the Ravens didn’t have the make up for another Super Bowl run.

Lewis had a different opinion and well, I believe he secretly thinks he is still on the team.

Anyway, Lewis hyped the win over the Lions “A game in which the Ravens failed to cross the end zone” like it was the stepping stone Baltimore needed to propel themselves to another shot at destiny.

Ehhh, I don’t think so.

The Detroit Lions are still an immature football team and that was on display Monday Night. We saw a team that just doesn’t have what it takes to finish and even if Detroit does win the NFC North and make the playoffs, my guess is that they will be one and done. So what exactly does a no Touchdown with a 61 yard walk off Field Goal two point win in December mean for the Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl chances…ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Finally, I must address the situation with the Terence Garvin hit on Bengals punter Kevin Huber. The Mortal Kombat style KO shot ended Huber’s season with a broken jaw, and made Garvin a little lighter in the wallet as the NFL handed down a $25,000 fine for an illegal hit on a “get this” defenseless player. NFL rules say that Punters and Kickers are defenseless. Let me breathe. Let me breathe. HOW IN THE BLOODY HELL IS A GUY TRYING TO MAKE A TACKLE DEFENSELESS??? IS THIS A JOKE?? SERIOUSLY…SERIOUSLY??? A Wide Receiver running over the middle attempting to catch a pass is defenseless. I get it. A Quarterback in his throwing motion with his feet set is defenseless. I get it. But, YOU WILL NOT, I REPEAT WILL NOT tell me that a guy who has already punted the ball and is now in the process of trying to tackle or impede the progress of a punt returner is defenseless. WHAT?? WHAT?? You’re trying to make a tackle.

How are you any more defenseless at that point than the 10 other guys on your team trying to do the EXACT SAME THING?? HOW? HOW??? I NEED ANSWERS.

If the Punter is so defenseless that he can’t be hit after he kicks the ball, then he should not be allowed to run “in harms way” to attempt a tackle at the ball carrier. It just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.

If that is indeed the rule, then after the kick the Punter needs to simply trot his defenseless ass off the field during the return.

Secondly, how can you fine a guy for hitting the Punter during the return?

Last I checked the Punter is wearing the exact same uniform as the 10 other men on the field.

How is anybody supposed to know before they strike an opposing player that the guy about to be hit is the kicker so I have to slow up before I do so to avoid a fine.

This is unbelievable. So, the solution obviously should be that all Kickers and Punters MUST wear bright Red or Yellow jerseys and MUST SPRINT to the NEAREST sideline after they kick the ball away. SHEESH.

This clears everything up Rich Eisen. Punters ARE NOT people.

I’m upset so it’s pick time


2013-2014 Season picks record
Upset Special (4-11)
GuruDAMNtee (10-5)
Last Week (9-7)
Overall (126-97-1)
Dolphins 28 @ Bills 23
Vikings 19 @ Bengals 33
*Broncos 40 @ Texans 17* GuruDAMNtee
Titans 31 @ Jaguars 30
Browns 24 @ Jets 20
Saints 24 @ Panthers 27
Colts 17 @ Chiefs 31
Cowboys 38 @ Redskins 40
Bucs 21 @ Rams 31
Giants 20 @ Lions 27
Cardinals 16 @ Seahawks 30
Raiders 21 @ Chargers 23
Steelers 26 @ Packers 24
Patriots 30 @ Ravens 28
*Bears 34 @ Eagles 33* Upset Special
Falcons 10 @ 49ers 37

No Thursday Night game this week. So we’ll start with the Upset Special. Honestly I don’t have a true upset special as I went with mostly favorites and teams that are on some sort of a roll headed into the later part of the year. But, the Eagles are favored by 3 at home.

I have criticized Chip Kelly all year long and was almost ready to take him out of my doghouse and then…Minnesota happened. We are in the middle of December and the Eagles were embarrassed by the lowly Vikings. Give me Jay Cutler who proved last week why there really was never a QB controversy in Chicago.

I’ll take the Broncos by a lot over the Texans in my “GuruDAMNtee” pick. No further explanation needed.

I could have gone with Washington as my upset special this week as well. The Cowboys are favored by three on the road. But, I just refuse to put my faith back in Tony Romo.

Dallas SHOULD win this game comfortably. However, Kirk Cousins still has a lot to prove. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dallas blows another one here. Tony Romo in December is really consistent…at losing.

Really hard to call the Packers/Steelers matchup. Aaron Rodgers wasn’t cleared to play by team doctors Wednesday. However, he did participate in practice and shared first team reps. Vegas doesn’t even have a line up on the game. The Packers are in the playoff mix here. My guess is that he doesn’t play. I’ll go with the Steelers.

Tom Brady will have his hands full on the road in Baltimore where his Patriots are 2.5 point underdogs to the Ravens.

This is a big game for both teams. Like I said earlier, I really wasn’t impressed with the Ravens win on Monday night like some other people were. Tom Terrific will put Baltimore back where they belong with some late game heroics.

Finally, the NFC South Division Title is on the line in Charlotte this week. After getting blasted on National TV against the Saints in the SuperDome, Cam got back on track and led the Panthers to a 10 point victory over the Jets this past Sunday. I don’t think Carolina will let destiny slip past their hands again. Cats by a slim margin in the revenge game.

That’s all the time we have for you this week folks. Think I’m talking out of my mind? Feel free to comment below and share your opinion. Or, make your own picks and challenge The Guru. Happy Holidays folks. COURAGE.


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