The Guru was 9 of 15 in his picks last week. Not bad and it looks like I’m still on a pretty decent roll with momentum headed into Week 8. We have a few topics to discuss from last week which turned out to be a pretty eventful one as far as news goes in the NFL. So as we press along, shake ‘em up Jake, my hands ache and it’s time for Week 8. Ooooooh I liked that one.
LORD HAVE MERCY, WHAT HAPPENED TO PERCY??? Seattle dealt Percy Harvin away to the struggling Jets for next to nothing just before last weeks horrendous loss to the Rams. But, I’m not really here to talk about Percy. The Seahawks proved last year that they could win a Super Bowl without him. The real problem with Seattle is exactly what I was telling you guys ALL SUMMER LONG. It’s that damn post Super Bowl punch they serve after you win the thing. The only person who didn’t get all “punch-drunk” was clearly Russell Wilson. Aside from him, the rest of those guys are still hungover. Pete Carroll must have had an entire pitcher of that juice. Did you see how Seattle lost that game. They were outcoached. Jeff Fisher had his guys more prepared than Carroll had his and those are just the facts. Fisher orchestrated the play of the year so far with that punt return for a touchdown last week. A return that had Pete Carroll so clueless and caught off guard that he was complaining about Tavon Austin signaling for a phantom fair-catch. Austin did nothing of the sort. Pete Carroll was not prepared and then he proceeded to throw his gunner under the bus for getting off the ball late. JOKES. Carroll wasn’t prepared again when Jeff Fisher ran a fake punt to almost seal the game late in the fourth as well. Then in press conferences you had guys on the Seahawks saying that the Percy Harvin trade impacted their play Sunday. SHAKING MY HEAD. These guys are drunk. DRUNK DRUNK DRUNK.
The Browns are who WE THOUGHT THEY WERE. Last week they weren’t let off the hook. I told you that Jacksonville would get their first win of the year over the Browns and well…They got it. Cleveland reverted back to the guys we know they really are with a pathetic performance against the lowly Jaguars. Brian Hoyer looked like a guy named Brian Hoyer and quite frankly if he has another showing like last week, it might be time to play Mr. Football.
Maaaaaan. The NFC South is BADDDDD. REAL REAL BAD. Everybody took a loss last week in that division. Yes, even you Tampa Bay as the bye week narrowly escaped with a 2-0 victory over the Bucs’. Yup, it’s that bad. What happened to the Panthers defense, what happened to the Atlanta offense and what happened to Sean Payton in his postgame press conference? Yikes!!
Has that Bengals “Perfect Storm” ship hit the wave yet?? FULL SPEED AHEAD. I might go with a “Titanic” reference from now on. Watch that movie as much as you want and hope Jack hangs on, but I’ll give you a hint. They never find out a way to get on that board together. Jack’s going down. Just like Andy.
That’s everything right? Oh yeah. Peyton Manning broke some record or something last week and then choreographed a routine in which his wide receivers would play “keep-away” with the ball from him. Mehh.
Overall Record (59-46-1)
Last Week (9-6)
Upset Special (0-7)
San Diego 30 @ Denver 34
Detroit 27 @ Atlanta 17
Buffalo 20 @ New York Jets 17
Baltimore 36 @ Cincinnati 20
Seattle 27 @ Carolina 30
Chicago 24 @ New England 28
Houston 24 @ Tennessee 21
Miami 28 @ Jacksonville 20
St. Louis 24 @ Kansas City 28
Minnesota 17 @ Tampa Bay 23
Philadelphia 28 @ Arizona 31
Oakland 30 @ Cleveland 23 *Upset Special*
Indianapolis 35 @ Pittsburgh 24
Green Bay 37 @ New Orleans 30
Washington 16 @ Dallas 28 *GuruDAMNtee*
I’ll take Oakland for my upset special. I’m not sold on Cleveland and they dropped the ball last week against a winless Jacksonville team. Oakland has to get a win at some point. Why not Sunday?
Give me Dallas for my GuruDAMNtee. The Redskins are in shambles right now. RGIII might be cleared to play but who knows? It doesn’t matter who is behind center for the ‘Skins come Monday night, they will get pounded by Demarco Murray all night. Keep running him Dallas. Till the wheels fall off.
When you wake up to watch the pregame shows on Sunday morning. Detroit should be just about finished handling Atlanta across the pond. That offense hasn’t really shown up this year, why should anything change this week? Detroit even showed they are capable without the games best wide receiver and there’s an outside chance he might get back into the lineup.
I have Seattle losing their third straight to Carolina this week. Carolina has had Seattle’s number the last two times they met, only to drop the ball literally and figuratively both times in the closing minutes to ensure a loss. Carolina fixes it this week and we can officially hit the PANIC button in Seattle.
Denver and San Diego should be a good Thursday night matchup for all of you who hate football on Thursdays. Buckle up for this one. It should go back and forth. But, I’ll go with the greatest regular season QB of all time to get the job done under the lights.
Finally, I’ll take the Cardinals to down the Eagles in a NFC elite showdown. Eagles have gotten by on special teams and defensive returns. Not happening this week. Arizona will take out Philly as long as Carson Palmer doesn’t get too trigger happy.