The Guru talks Jimmy Clausen, Johnny Manziel and gives Week 17 picks

 By Trey Crosby III

If you haven’t figured out that The Guru is on top of things with my weekly picks then you just aren’t paying attention. 13-3 was the record I put up last week and it’s just getting easier. In fact, it’s getting so easy that I’m headed to Vegas in a couple of weeks to cash in on my own picks. When I return with my winnings, I’ll be both happy and sad. If you don’t understand that last little riddle don’t worry, it went over a lot of people’s heads.

So, last week we saw Johnny Manziel not play very well. RELAX. He’ll be alright. It was his first start. I can’t believe people are seriously bashing this guy and saying he won’t amount to much in the NFL because of one start. For starters, you guys sound like Johnny Haters. Secondly, it’s his first start and it wasn’t like Brian Hoyer was lighting up the scoreboard for the Browns recently anyway. Johnny is in great company with bad first starts. Look up the numbers for yourself, I’ll just give you names that you may or may not recognize. Troy Aikman, Peyton Manning, Fran Tarkenton, John Elway and Andrew Luck. JFF will be fine and Cleveland is now squarely his team. Give him time to steer the ship please.

THIS JUST IN!!! Jimmy Clausen will be starting for Chicago this week. That’s fine and all because it’s been documented that I’m a Jimmy Clausen fan. To be clear, when I say fan, I mean that I like him as a person and even though he’s nowhere near an elite quarterback, he wasn’t given a fair shake in Carolina so it’s nice to see him get an opportunity to sling the rock around in the league again. On the other hand, I’m also a huge Jay Cutler fan. Chicago better play this hand correctly and keep Cutler around. He’s still owed $15.5 million next year and that money is fully guaranteed. It’s hard to justify having $15.5 million on your bench doing nothing. Secondly, if you end up letting Cutler go, Chicago has to face the possibility that they might very well end up searching for a quarterback that has anything close to his skill level or potential for the next decade.

THE EAGLES ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE. I’ll just let this speak for itself.




​​​​Overall Record (142-81)

​​​​Last Week (13-3)

​​​​GuruDAMNtee (14-1)

​​​​Upset Special (4-11)

Tennessee 21 @ Jacksonville 26

Philadelphia 37 @ Washington 23

San Diego 30 @ San Francisco 24

Baltimore 27 @ Houston 19

Cleveland 16 @ Carolina 26

Detroit 28 @ Chicago 14

Green Bay 43 @ Tampa Bay 14 *GuruDAMNtee*

Kansas City 24 @ Pittsburgh 21

Minnesota 26 @ Miami 21 *Upset Special*

New England 31 @ New York Jets 16

Atlanta 33 @ New Orleans 31

New York Giants 27 @ St. Louis 21

Buffalo 20 @ Oakland 24

Indianapolis 27 @ Dallas 24

Seattle 21 @ Arizona 13

Denver 27 @ Cincinnati 23

Sheesh. On first glance, I chose a lot of road teams to get wins this week. Muy interesante.

GuruDAMNtee goes to Green Bay taking on the Bucs in Tampa. I guess you could call this a “Battle of the Bay” because of the…well, you get why. Anyway, the Packers just lost and I’m sure they’ll be out for blood.

Give me the Vikings over Miami in my upset special for this week. Minnesota has impressed me in the latter portion of this season. Miami has not. Wouldn’t be surprised to see the Vikings take home a win on the road as they carry a little pride throughout the end of their season.

Philly should roll through Washington. RGIII will get the start for the ‘Skins. Notice I said Philly SHOULD roll through Washington and I believe they will do just that. But, as bad as RGIII has been for the better part of the last two seasons, he still shows glimpses of magic. This might be closer than we all think.

Who starts in Carolina this week? Anderson or Cam? I don’t think it matters. Carolina should push through the now struggling Browns and pray for a New Orleans loss so they can have a shot at hosting a playoff game.

New Orleans has trouble at home and they clearly have problems stopping a potent passing attack. No, I won’t give them a confidence boost for beating the lowly Chicago Bears. I think Matt Ryan comes into town and lights up that Saints defense. This one should be a shootout. Last team with the ball wins.

I’ll take Indianapolis over the Cowboys this week. The ‘Boys avenged an awful Thanksgiving Day L last week against the Eagles. But the surgery for Demarco Murray might prove to be too much and they are trying to rush him back too soon. I’m concerned about the Cowboys, give me Andrew Luck this week please.

Finally, I’ll go with the surging Seahawks over the Cardinals this week. ARIZONA IS DONE. It actually sucks. This was their year. They were going to win the division just as I had predicted. This team was seriously good enough to be real contenders for a title. But, you just can’t do it with your 4th string QB. I get that all teams have injuries, but this is cruel and unusual punishment. The football gods have made it VERY VERY clear, NO TEAM SHALL PLAY A SUPER BOWL AT THEIR HOME STADIUM. So let it be written, so let it be done.


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