When I think of the WWE right now, I can only think of doing a deep, deep sigh. The WWE has just wrapped up its 28th annual Survivor Series Pay-Per-View, and after watching Raw this past Monday, I can assure you that the frequent need to walk away from your TV screens will be a must.
Could the WWE possibly be running out of storylines to use? Or is this all a set up for something bigger and better in store for 2015? Regardless, here are three storylines that are currently being thrusted toward us, that quite frankly aren’t new ones.
1. The “I am the tag-team champions” storyline
Sounds familiar? The WWE universe was introduced to this weird but intriguing storyline with Kane and Daniel Bryan (formerly known as Team Hell No), when they won the WWE Tag Team Championships from Kofi Kingston and R-Truth at the 2012 Night of Champions event. After winning the Championships, the win resulted in them fighting and arguing over who’s the tag team champions, by chanting, “I’m the tag team champions!” “NO, I’M the tag team champions!”, and so on and so forth.
Now, we get introduced to it once again by having The Miz and Damien Mizdow in that same predicament. The Miz and Damien Mizdow won the WWE Tag Team Championships at the 2014 Survivor Series Pay-per-view in a fatal four way tag match, resulting in the two triumphing over Los Matadores, Gold and Stardust, and The Usos. The Miz would then take both championships, and flaunt them around as if he should have both championships. The Miz and Damien Mizdow are not fighting over the belt thankfully, as Damien Mizdow seems to be okay with Miz having both championships (for now), but still, same old storyline. Extra emphasis on old.
I give this storyline 4 weeks maximum, and Damien Mizdow is going to want his rightful championship gold. BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING!!!! GOD HAVE MERCY!!! GOD MAKE IT STOP!!! THIS IS GOING TO KILL MIZDOWS CHARACTER!!! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!!! GAHHH!!!
2. The “Look at me, I’m a Celebrity GM” storyline
I’m bored just typing all of this up. Around this time from June 2009-May 2010, the WWE brought in different general managers (usually celebrities such as Bob Parker, Pee Wee Herman, Jersey Shore’s Snooki, Bret Hart, Al Sharpton, Jerry Springer, Mike Tyson, Timbaland, Snoop Dogg, Cedric the Entertainer, Shaquille O’Neal, and so much more), that would GM for just that night. This went on frequently, until they decided to find a permanent General Manager in Vickie Guerrero (I just threw up in my mouth.)
Seeing that we were graced with the presence of The Angry Cat, Larry the Cable Guy, and Daniel Bryan being General Manager this past Monday on Raw, I can’t help but think that they will CONTINUE on this route of having different guest hosts as GM for awhile until they find a permanent General Manager.
I’m speechless…. literally speechless…. If this kind of thing doesn’t call for a restroom break, I don’t know what does. Seriously, IS NOBODY AROUND ANYMORE? WE DON’T HAVE A WWE WORLD CHAMPION, LORD KNOWS WHAT BROCK IS DOING. AND NOW WE DON’T HAVE ANYBODY TO CALL THE SHOTS?!?! DISGUSTING! DISGUSTING! DISGUSTING! And Raw is supposed to be kid friendly? All this is teaching the kids is that being a no show in life is A-Okay! WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE IS THAT???? I’m done. I’m done.
3. The “Anonymous General Manager” storyline
The anonymous General Manager storyline was introduced to us in June of 2010 and lasted until October of 2011, as a way for the WWE to basically find someone to step up and become the next general manager of Raw. This storyline (like many others) started off strong and interesting, captivating the audience. But eventually, the storyline fizzled out, and the WWE just wasn’t into it for long. It went from “I can’t wait to find out who the GM is” to “shut up and announce him/her already.” Oh, and it eventually being Hornswoggle behind the madness.
Now we get put with this same crap again. Before Raw could go off of the air, the annoying Apple ringtone buzzed over, and over, and over again, announcing that not only was it here to stay, but that this coming Monday is called ‘Cyber Monday’, thus announcing that the WWE would now be under the authority of a mystery person behind a laptop.
WHY? WHY, WHY, WHY!! AGAIN?! DID THE WWE NOT LEARN FROM LAST TIME THEY DID THIS?! Let me tell you, the rest of this month may be the worst when it comes to booking, because this anonymous GM garbage really stinks up Monday nights. Pitiful. Disgraceful. Annoying. All into one little laptop computer. It’s almost a migraine. I hope nobody takes as long as it took them the previous time this happened to slam that laptop to the ground. Not sure how long the WWE Universe, or the WWE creators will be able to tolerate this ATROCITY of a storyline.
As always, follow me on twitter @ShaiVaughnC for more updates on where the WWE is taking these storylines, as well as updates on the TLC PPV and live tweeting for Raw and SmackDown.