The Guru returns with his Week 5 NFL Picks and a Brady apology

By Trey Crosby III

Very nice day at the office for me last week, I went 10-5, and I  knew better than to pick against Tom Brady. But I did it anway. Sorry Sir. I won’t let it happen again.


Let’s start right there, Tom Brady is a GOAT. (Greatest Of All Time) I mean seriously, does this guy get it done or does he get it done, SHEESH!!! On the road, in the dome with Wide Receivers we have never heard of before. Are you kidding me? Tom is so good. (How good is he?) He’s passing the ball to himself.

Now, onto Matty Lukewarm, he just doesn’t get the job done. There are extremely talented guys who just fold under pressure, and he fits that category. Forcing the ball to a hobbled Roddy White on the last play, WHEN JULIO JONES IS A MONSTER, I don’t understand. I like Matt Ryan, and he has the skillset to get a ring one day, I’m just not sure when that day will come.


Speaking of guys crumbling under pressure, hello Matt Schaub. Was that a joke? Just give Richard Sherman a reason to run his mouth why don’t you? At this point, you can’t blame him, Richard Sherman is the BEST cover corner in the NFL. PERIOD. Yeah, don’t give me the Revis Island thing either, last I heard, Larry Fitzgerald had a nice vacation there. As my father would say Highway 24 is the fastest route to the endzone.


Which leads me to Greg Schiano. Dude, get it together. Tampa Bay has totally botched this Josh Freeman thing. Then to go leak information that he failed a drug test. Tsk Tsk. Somebody is gonna walk out with a fine in that organization. Bet $$ on that.


We found out the answer Adidas. RGIII was “ALL IN”…. for WEEK 4. Thanks guys, and even then he wasn’t impressive. I don’t mean to knock RG1-3, (See how that win allowed me to keep the 3 in there..anyway) but he clearly doesn’t have it together. Good thing for him, the entire NFC East is horrible. So he will have a shot at doing…err…something.


Are you guys off the Chip Kelly bandwagon yet, or do I need to talk about him some more? Yeah, Denver, thats INNOVATIVE. Philly is umm, I dont have a word, check back with me next week.


Ahhh, the defending champion Baltimore Ravens. Joe Fluke-o got his $$ and is living in his own mediocrity. Difference here is, you remember what I said about Matt Shaub and Matty Lukewarm, total opposite with Flacco. Give him the ball in the playoffs and he is magic. Just not sure if Baltimore has what it takes to get him there, but the season is young.


I wouldn’t feel good ending my recap without giving praise to Phillip Rivers. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. This guy is ELITE. Rivers has what it takes to be a great QB in this league and WIN GAMES while doing so. Prove em’ wrong each week Phillip, and rack up fantasy points for my team while you’re at it.


Anyway, here is what the #GuruSays about Week 5 in the NFL. Enjoy.




  2013-2014 Season picks record


    Upset Special (1-2)


  GuruDAMNtee (2-2)


       Last Week (10-5)


          Overall (32-31)



Buffalo 21 @ Cleveland 20


Baltimore 20 @ Miami 28

New Orleans 34 @ Chicago 27

New England 24 @ Cincinnati 21

*Detroit 30 @ Green Bay 23*   UPSET SPECIAL

Seattle 17 @ Indianapolis 21

Jacksonville 10 @ St. Louis 27

Kansas City 28 @ Tennessee 13

Philadelphia 31 @ New York Giants 16

Carolina 20 @ Arizona 13

Denver 37 @ Dallas 31

Houston 30 @ San Francisco 33

San Diego 28 @ Oakland 17

*New York Jets 16 @ Atlanta 38*   GuruDAMNtee

I talked to some folks on twitter after last Thursday nights game, and they were uspet with the lack of competitiveness on Thursday nights. Then they quickly noted that this Thursday, America gets the Browns vs Bills. (yawn) However, that isn’t my sentiment at all. Why not give the people Cleveland and Buffalo in primetime? Those places have fans too.

I get tired of seeing the “normal” NFL teams on TV every other week. It’s nice to mix it up, you guys do realize there are QB’s in the NFL not named Romo, Brady, Manning, (both of em) and RGIII. All the players not named get paychecks too, let em play on National TV.

Where was I? Oh yes, I’m not going against Brady again, but I’m sure Cincy will make that one interesting.

Vegas has Greeny Bay as 6.5 point favorites at home against Detroit. USC Reggie Bush will run WILD. They get my upset pick for the week. Get this, the G-Men are 2.5 point favorites at home against Philly. Ehhh, somebody knows something we don’t. I guess I don’t know, but,  the New York “little” Giants haven’t given me a reason to choose them and I refuse to do so just because they have to get a win at some point.

I’ll take Andrew Luck at home against Seattle, face it, the Hawks aren’t the HAWKS away from the 12th man. They escaped in Houston because of some bad QB play. Don’t look for Luck to let them off that easy.

I like Carolina out in the desert with Arizona. Carolina has the BEST FRONT 7 in all of football. Pressure on Carson Palmer will come early and often. They had two weeks to prepare. The Cats should be in good shape. Arizona got handed a victory from the jaws of defeat last week. Carolina likes handing away victories as well, but I have a feeling Ron Rivera likes his job.

My “GuruDAMNtee” goes to Atlanta this week. The Dirty Birds are 1-3 and if they want any type of shot at keeping up with Drew Brees and the Saints in that division, they will need a win badly this week. I think they go take out their frustrations on the Jets right from the start.

Big shoutout to JTRE 1212, who makes his/her picks known in a comment at the end of my column each week. Doing a pretty good job, even though I had the upper hand this past week. If you want a shoutout from the Guru, be sure to make your voice heard in the comment section. Tell me if I am wrong about any of the views stated here or whether you have a question about something and I will try to answer it next week. Until then folks. You know what it is…COURAGE


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